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...of Meaningful Holiday Celebrations
Talk It Out:
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"My family has an unusual solution to multiple
family get-togethers. My cousin started years ago having an open house for family and friends.
She opens her house from about noon until late at night sometime during
the Christmas season. She has done it on Christmas Eve or sometimes as
much as a week before Christmas—whenever she was ready. Everyone
brings a dish to share or drink or something special to eat. No gifts are required. Often people would
bring gifts for family members who they wouldn't see before Christmas and
leave it under her tree for when that person arrived. You go, eat, stay as
long as you like and mingle with others there. Everyone knows when open
house is but no one is required to be there at a certain time. So you could
come
after work or stay the afternoon. It has always worked out well and everyone seems pleased with the arrangements with so many family members to visit." ~ Kathy |
| "It is difficult to establish your own immediate family's traditions, but you just have to decide what is important and follow it. It will be important to your children that you respect your core family as a unit. People really do understand, even if they are a little sad that the new pattern is different from what they were used to. I suggest you decide that your immediate family will be home on Christmas day. You might invite part of your family to share Christmas dinner, but invite everyone to drop by on the day before, perhaps for an afternoon supper or an evening open house—something inexpensive for you, but festive. It will help you be sure to have all your last minute things done before they drop by, and you will have a more relaxed Christmas eve. My own family had a ‘feast’ on Christmas eve...a simple buffet for the family. We kids loved it because there were always certain party foods that were a real treat on our tight budget. As we all became adults, we brought something for the buffet - each family had their specialty (simple, believe me, but delicious) that we knew we would have every year. I read a great book last week about simplifying Christmas and remembering the reason for the season. It is called, ‘The Hundred Dollar Holiday.’ I recommend it highly. I got it for about 1/3 price on Half.com." ~ Anne |
| "I would suggest an open house to accommodate all the different schedules her family has. She could do it on a day other than Christmas, also. This would probably allow even more flexibility for visiting. She could have a buffet style meal that could be replenished as people showed up. The event could be something very relaxing, where family and friends could drop by for some food and good cheer. They could even exchange gifts at this time. It would probably be much less stressful than having everyone come at the same time. I am from a large family and when we all get together, it's pretty much mayhem. I would love to start this tradition when we return to the States. Right now we are stationed in Japan. Good luck to you, Linda." ~ Eileen |
| "I'd suggest that Linda pick a time that's not too close to Christmas itself (how far is okay depends on family traditions, in my experience) and plan a Christmas open house. Have good food, some games or activities (could include crafts for kids, caroling, cookie-baking) and invite all of the families. Whoever can come comes, and the rest hear about what a wonderful time they missed! A fun, relaxing time is generally something that everyone appreciates--and, in time, it can become its own tradition. If you have to, you can vary the day or time from year to year so different people have an opportunity to participate." ~ Lois |
| "When My husband and I married some 20 + years ago,
we became a blended family. That is, his children and my children. As the
semi-young adult kids left home and married, we told them the importance
of forming their own traditions. They have done this, all five of them.
From time to time it has been sad for us because we have had to truly
become one another’s best friend! We spend most holidays alone, but not
lonely. Our kids and their families celebrate their traditions - which are
beautiful.
If we choose to decorate for holidays, we do. We spend many holidays visiting with friends who are alone and cheering those who are lonely. We celebrate OUR traditions our way. We are now semi-retied. My husband is a minister and I breed and show cats. Linda, I hope this helps you, possibly anyone else. It has worked well for us." ~ Gail |
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"In our family the extended families meet at other times during
December and January. It’s usually the weekend before or after
Christmas which means there are still some that can't make it but more
can make it than trying to do it on Christmas eve or Christmas itself. I
know one family who always has the big extended family gathering in
January and they love it.
One idea that I love is to have a cookie party early in December. This also eliminates the big spending too. Each person or family, depending on how you do it, brings cookies to swap, as many dozens as there are families/people. It’s a big festive party, they eat and have fun, everyone takes a great variety of cookies home -- usually family favorites. Since the focus is on cookies instead of gifts, there isn’t the huge outlay of money. Many times the hostess will set up a ‘decorate a cookie bar’ and everyone brings one type of sprinkles, candy, can of icing etc. to use for decorating. All the donated items are set on the 'decorating bar' along with baked cutouts and people take turns decorating a few cookies." ~ Jennette |
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"Decide to rotate relatives from Christmas to Christmas. This year
decide to visit her family. Next Christmas visit his family. You can also
rotate other holidays so you get to be with each family unit at least once
a year. Also rotate the invitees to your home. Make the announcement of
your wishes well in advance so the other families can adjust their plans.
Listen to their suggestions as well. Begin traditions of your own. Spend Christmas Eve (or Christmas Day) with your own family and guard it carefully. Or designate an evening during the week before Christmas to do the same. Use the time for family fun memories like making a Christmas scrapbook, stringing popcorn for the tree decorations, singing favorite carols to your immediate neighbors, cooking a special recipe or watching ‘It's a Wonderful World’ movie. Take photos of your special family night. Keep several photos in one photo album with one page for each year. Our family is all grown now, but we had a tradition of sharing Christmas Eve breakfast with a neighboring family with children the same ages as ours. We served a special egg and cheese recipe every year although we rotated the host family every other year. Today, it is still called our Christmas Eve Egg Dish and brings back fond memories." ~ Peggy |
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Editor's Note: Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond. |